Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Things people do for attention
This is the motivation for a lot of my writings of late. What will people do before people will pay attention to them? What will they have to do before people stop to help? It's mostly pretty gloomy stuff, but it's really allowed me to explore characters on an individual level. I just feel like I need to work with this idea through the different situations before I hit one that fits. Maybe this is a good style/theme for me, as I'm not usually the centre of attention. I'm not usually one to talk about my problems and live with my emotions so close to the surface. I usually find that the impression this gives is that I'm quite level-headed, quite regular, balanced, and all that. I figure most of these ideas come from assumptions. I think lots of things I don't say. I'm one of those people who thinks a lot before saying things. Most of the time, anyway. I calculate words. I decide what I want to share about myself. I'm reserved, if you could put just one word to me. What will I do for attention? I honestly don't know. Sometimes I feel like the way I articulate myself is a show in which I manipulate people to see me a certain way, but I know I couldn't be that devious on a conscious level. Maybe all I want, as a writer, and as a person too, I guess, is for people to listen to me. I don't know.